A new twist on an old story...

Teacher Charged With Unlawful Sexual Conduct With Student


After a breif skimming of this article, I didn't find it too interesting. Then I noticed the use of pronouns and realized where the difference lies.

And apparently, in Maine, licking earlobes in considered "sexual conduct." Seeing as this is pretty much exactly how 50% of porno movies start, I move that all charges be dropped under terms of total awesomeness. Unless of course that these two were the type that Jeff does not want to wake up to, then they should be sent to jail with no chance of parole.